Saint Ignatius of Loyola, whose feast day is this Friday, 31st July, was born in the late 15th Century into wealthy Basque nobility. Brought up in the Spanish court, he emerged in his twenties as a wild, vain, ambitious, lustful and courageous young man. In a battle in 1521 his leg was shattered when hit by a cannonball, forcing upon him many months of agony whilst recovering.
He had an extraordinary imagination, and whiled away the hours daydreaming about the great deeds he would perform once recovered, frequently imagining the wooing of the lady whose love he would win. He asked for something to read, and was brought a Life of Christ, along with a collection of saints’ lives – not his usual reading or imaginary world! But, they gave him alternative and new narratives for his daydreams, in which he, of course, became the main protagonist.
He noticed, over time, that whilst fully enjoying the daydreams at the time the nature of the daydream significantly altered how he felt afterwards. After dreaming of his great deeds and the lady he would win, he was left feeling empty and sad. By contrast, after daydreams imagining himself in Gospel stories and outdoing the saints, he was left feeling content and hopeful.
His insight, which went on to form the basis of what is now called Ignatian Spirituality, was that his moods and feelings provided a means of discovering whether his actions and thoughts were helpful and lifegiving, or whether they were destructive, bringing hopelessness and lethargy in life.
Perhaps many of us have had similar emotional responses, but the significant next step that Ignatius made was this: he discerned that when left with feelings of hopefulness and a desire for life, this indicated that the imaginary world he had been inhabiting was in line with Christ – they were times of closeness to God, of consolation. By contrast the daydreams that left him feeling hopeless and despondent indicated a turning away from God, of desolation. This ultimately led him to commit his life to Christ, and to the founding of the religious order of the Society of Jesus, known as the Jesuits.
His insight into the importance of our feelings in telling us how the Holy Spirit may be guiding us became what Ignatius later called ‘Discernment of Spirits’, and whilst it would be possible to spend a lifetime exploring the thousands of erudite writings, a short exploration of his teachings now can also offer a great deal.
The aspect I want to draw on this morning is his grace filled conviction that God dwells within us at the place of our deepest desires. Therefore, by seeking to know ourselves, by recognising when our activities bring us alive, and the converse, when they deaden us, we can discern how to walk more closely with God.
Today’s reading from 1 Kings began with Solomon asleep. Dreams in Scripture are frequently God’s revelation of something significant for the dreamer. In Solomon’s dream the Lord comes to him and instructs Solomon ‘Ask what I should give you’. God is asking him to name his deepest desire.
This has a fairy tale quality to it – the offering of a freely given wish! Could he ask for anything?! It speaks to me of childhood birthdays when I really believed that the wish I made when blowing out the candles had a magic quality to it, though I never did get that horse I so longed (and repeatedly wished) for.
But, in his dream, Solomon enters into a process of working out, discerning, what it is that he really desires. This process has different stages.
- First he recalls his heritage; God’s care for his father, David, his own place as David’s son, now chosen by God to be King of Israel.
- Secondly, he looks at himself with honesty, doubting his worthiness to be leader of the people Israel, and naming his uncertainty – I am only a little child, I cannot lead an army (the meaning of not knowing how to go out or come in). His insecurities also form part of his discernment process.
- And thirdly, he recognises God’s ongoing and constant relationship with the people of Israel.
This reflection helps him to know what it is he wishes from God, and he asks for an understanding mind that he might be able to govern the people and discern between good and evil. In fact, he asks for what he already has, because, only someone with a wise and discerning mind could have asked for the gift of a wise and discerning mind! The gift Solomon asked for was already his through the grace of God.
Our gospel also relates to this. This week we heard a collection of short and intense parables. The first two tell of small, hidden, easily missed things – a tiny mustard seed, and then yeast, hidden in, but sufficient to leaven, a huge quantity of flour. Both of these are small, yes, and hidden, yes, but are powerful and, in the right conditions, they have dramatic impact. And there we can see a link … a link to Ignatius’ conviction that our deepest desires, though often hidden or easily missed, when given the correct medium to grow, are powerful and life-giving, not only bringing us alive, but changing lives around us.
Working out what our deepest desires may be is not simple, nor necessarily quick. But we are not alone in this work to discern them, for just as God came to Solomon as he slept, God is with us helping us to recognise, awaken and respond to our deepest desires. So how do we do this?
The daily Examen is one very simple, yet profound, daily prayer practice that is one of the riches of Ignatian spirituality. In fact, Saint Ignatius instructed early members of the Jesuit monastic order which he founded, that this daily Examen was the essential prayer practice. Here’s an outline…
Thanksgiving. First, we sit, or kneel quietly, centering our scattered senses on the presence of God, and being thankful for all of life, knowing that all things come from God.
Reviewing the day. We ask for God’s light to help us reflect on our day, recalling the day, gently noticing whatever catches our attention.
Consolation. We notice moments of life, of energy, when we felt ourselves coming alive – maybe an encounter with someone, or with Creation, or an event that brought deep joy. These are times of consolation, closeness to God.
As we sit with God, and with these felt responses, we ask for God to help us to recognise what made those moments positive and special. We breathe in the love, the gifts of the Spirit that we felt, and receive life again from those moments.
Desolation. Then we notice moments when we felt drained of energy, or despondent. These felt responses show us what aspects of life deaden us, turn us away from God.
We sit with God, and ask for help to see what made these moments so difficult, not trying to change or fix them, but breathing in God’s love, to heal any hurts, and bring forgiveness for wrongs caused or received.
Look to tomorrow. We ask God, in the light of what we have seen, to be present with us in all that tomorrow may bring.
If you would like to know more, or would like help with how to begin using this prayer, Look on the Prayer section of this website which has information and links to sites with further help in praying the Examen. Alternatively, please do speak to me; I know from personal experience, that this prayer has the potential, through the work of the Holy Spirit, to transform our lives, and would love to talk with any of you about it.
When we do this prayer regularly we begin to see repeated patterns in our lives that lead us closer to, or further from God. We learn to recognise and understand the ‘groanings too deep for words’ that Paul writes about, that are the Spirit interceding in our lives. Our task is to learn to be receptive to these groanings of the Holy Spirit within us; to discover the seeds of the Kingdom of Heaven that are sown within us; to tend them, and to delight in the gifts that they bring. In doing this, life within us, and life in the world around us, will flourish, like the tiny mustard seed that grew into such a vibrant shrub that birds came to nest in its branches! Amen